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Trees in Winter

Interested in working
with a surrogate partner?

Here's what you need to know.

Surrogate Partner Therapy is: 

Triadic

SPT is always done in a three-person team. If you decide this approach is right for you, you would have appointments with a surrogate partner and other appointments with a verbal therapist/clinician. This triadic structure is an essential part of the process. Experiential exercises with the surrogate partner create the opportunity for embodied learning. Meanwhile appointments with the therapist help with the integration of that embodied awareness into your self-concept. It’s a powerful and effective combination.

Therapeutic

SPT is not for entertainment, gratification, or gratuitous experiences. If that is what you are seeking, there is nothing wrong with that. It just means that you are not looking for SPT but something else instead. There are lots of different types of practitioners. Each modality has different intentions and boundaries, and therefore creates a different container. If it becomes clear that your goals are not suited to SPT, we can help you find practitioners who are more suitable.

Ongoing

Nothing appropriate for SPT can be accomplished in a few sessions. SPT has the potential to be life-changing, and fulfilling that potential requires time and commitment. Although the pacing and the length of the process is customized for each individual client, it on average involves 15–30 sessions with surrogate partner and a corresponding amount with the collaborating clinician. If you're not already seeing a therapist/clinician, you will start out meeting with them. If you're not willing to meet with a therapist, it means SPT is not a good option for you.

Follow these steps to ​move forward in this process.

  1. Carefully review our information about SPT. There are a lot of misconceptions out there, and we want to make sure you understand what SPT actually is and how it is actually practiced to ensure that you have realistic expectations.

  2. Attend an info session about SPT for prospective clients. You are welcome to attend anonymously, i.e. with camera and microphone off, if you prefer. These monthly sessions are offered by the Embrace Surrogate Partner Therapy Resource Group.​

  3. Then, if Surrogate Partner Therapy still seems like the best option for you, go ahead and fill out the Referral Request, below.

SPT Referral Request

Use this form to request a referral to a surrogate partner and/or a collaborating clinician.

Thank you for asking for a referral for practitioners of Surrogate Partner Therapy (SPT). This form was created with two main intentions:


  1. Provide you with accurate information to make sure you understand SPT well enough to determine if SPT is a suitable next step on your healing journey.

  2. Obtain information necessary to help us make suitable referral(s).


Basic information shared in this form (such as your general location and what you're looking for) may be shared with potential surrogate partners and/or collaborating clinicians that are relevant to your request.

SPT is always done in a three person team consisting of client, surrogate partner, and collaborating therapist/clinician. This triadic structure is an essential part of the process.
I am seeing a therapist. I have informed my therapist of my interest in SPT. My therapist understands their role and is willing to fulfill it.
I am seeing a therapist, but they are not willing to collaborate with a surrogate partner, so I will need to be referred to another.
I am not currently seeing a therapist and will need to be referred to one who can collaborate with a surrogate partner.

If you haven't yet spoken with your therapist, or if your therapist is uncertain, please inform that there are resources that are available to support them in this process, including the following course, which details the role of the therapist at every step of the process.

Collaborating with Surrogate Partners in the Triadic Model

What are your high level goals for Surrogate Partner Therapy? What do you wish to accomplish? If the therapy were completely successful, how would your life be different? (If you are not comfortable sharing this information on an online form, please indicate that and we will contact you for more information.)

There are approximately 70 surrogate partners currently practicing in all of North America. This means there are large geographic areas that don’t have any local surrogate partners. If this is the case for you, are you willing to have travel be a part of your SPT experience? This creates additional expense for travel and lodging, but is the only option in some regions. Please select ALL that apply.

Openness to Travel
What genders of surrogate partner are you open to working with? Please select ALL that apply.
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